Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
this is an emotional support booty call
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
