Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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