the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
