were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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