i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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