How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
