I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
