oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
