The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
