I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
