Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
