shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
