I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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