He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
