Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
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