Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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