Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
