i think my tv is drunk
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
