Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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