wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
