okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
