So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
