found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
