he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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