i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
