No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
