What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
