OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Please, let me fuck your mom
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I am one with the molecules
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
tell me about the eggs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
