took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
