you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
