You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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