When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
