It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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