I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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