why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
