Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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