xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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