He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
