lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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