You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
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You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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