At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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