She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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