Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize