I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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