so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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