You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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