I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
