I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
