You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
