I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize