No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
