There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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