Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
