Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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