I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
