At least make sure they are 18
Why
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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