i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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