the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
