How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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