he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
