its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
