Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
