belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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