is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
